hundred acres
of wasteland, buried
under Pocahontas' knees
No one mint
of tiny triggers
can e'er strangle this disease
you're a worm-wart
here's your catheter
I hope it chafes you when you sneeze
here's your pollen
your wet vampire
shake his hand til he agrees
purple reptiles
grace the sermon
worship it with clasping hands
love the fabric
on the altar
heed all of your god's commands
take the tissue
from your pocket
dab it to your pouting eyes
send sir Raliegh
one last postcard
give the coastguard a surprise

celebrities split up when their celebrity spouse's career is faltering.
learn to appreicate your own wool.
we are an example of our heritage's best try at a perfect universe.
(how silly they were to try at all.)
green pilgrims line the sidewalks to Sofia, Bulgaria
with only pigeons as their waiters.
Some talk of love, or purity,
most waste themselves on wine, soaps or sports
Temples were built that only posers visit.
New Englanders find safety in smaller houses.
Aggrandizement is an endorsement of liberty.
Strategies are bullshit, only meant as back-up plans if your front troops are stupid.
Chocolate is desired by most humans at some point in their life.
Americans from small towns refer to pasta as noodles.
If you love watching sports, or soaps, you will have no problem being bored while unemployed.
Scooby-doo is an awful strange name for a dog.
Talking in English is an awful strange trait for a dog.
Scuba divers probably resent Scooby Doo beacuse of his name, although most would think he was a very nice dog if they were to in fact meet him.
Burps aren't lovely.
Sand doesn't fall off of damp towels willingly.
Waves are like people's lives. They are born way out in the ocean, they all die when they reach the shore. Some gather enough steam to crash the shore in a glorious death. They bring alot of their friends with them, so their death is a big deal, lots of froth and all. Some other waves kind of peak before reaching the shore. Some waves never peak, but you know that if they were to be able to live life to the fullest, or if their timing was just a little better, they'd have been able to be as big as they could have. In this way, waves make me sad. (I look at you, pull my index finger down from my eyes, across by cheek, to signify the ejacultaion of tears.)
Lizard girls belong in wet bedrooms. I am relieved my bedroom is not so wet.
Jerry Van Dyke did okay for a few years, then he petered out. It is rumored he adopted his brother Dick's penchant for booze.
I wonder if Dick Van Dyke and Dick Van Patten ever met at a party. And if so, was Van Dyke Parks present?
If we all preface any future endeavor with the modifier "America's" we will probably not get shot by the armed governmental dominatrices who prefer cold shark to warm laminate coated cock. (Steamed.)
Spurned by a conundrum of infancy, the midwestern porn diary is being written by ghouls. Please study this before your brain turns into an amalgamated anti-gnosis.

10th floor, Courtyard Marriott
Virginia Beach, VA
08.28.03

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